I managed to get my sister (( and my baby nephew )) in and out with no complications. As I visited with her, (( you know southerners visit, the rest of the world converses ))I glanced over and saw the yellow bikini briefs in the kitchen chair, and I hoped she wouldn't notice. (( She's like me -- an eagle eye and natural born snoop )). I knew if she saw them she'd know something was up cuz I just wasn't a bikini brief wearing type of boy; I'm a tighty-whitey guy. Luckily, she hadn't noticed a thing. (( And if she had, Of course, I knew it wasn't her business, but would you want to explain to your conservative Christian sister who held her baby in her arms that a naked man slept in your bed AND that nothing had happened??? I didn't want my sister to think I was a slut, and she'd never believe the truth. Who would? )) Jackie told me what I'd missed at the Oklahoma Thanksgiving, (( and made me feel guilty,)) and invited me to her house for dinner the following week. I sweated the entire time she was there in fear that bold and beautiful Bart would waltz out of my bedroom in nothing but a shirt and that Pepsodent smile doing his best Cruise impersonation............ but my paranoia was not rewarded. I managed to scoot her out the door after a hug to her and a kiss to my nephew, Jakob, and a completed stilted conversation that I blamed on grogginess.
After I closed the door on my sis, I determined to take a quick shower BEFORE I tried to raise the dead. God knows that boy slept like Lazarus, and I wanted to be fully dressed before I called him forth. I had plenty of time to shower and get dressed before work. At one point, I thought about cooking breakfast for us, but considered otherwise telling myself that would seem over eager and would be akin to inviting him to stay the night again..................which wasn't an entirely horrible idea, but the circumstances would be much different in the future in that regard, I hoped. NO drunkeness, NO couch and NO wham-bam-thank you SAM. We all seem to work out our little rules in our heads, and we don't realize til later in life that those scenarios never ever come to pass. Life just happens, and we should let it. But, I was ever so much younger then, and I thought I knew how life should be.................(( Puhlease, you've done the same thing.)) There is a reason why we aren't God.
So, I stepped into the shower quickly. Even though the apartment was aptly heated, the winter air always seemed to seep through somewhere and mornings never felt like the warmth that the thermostat dictated. The bathroom was a nice size, actually, which was surprising for this apartment on Highway 7 South. Of course, it came with the normal bathroom accessories: sink/vanity combo, toilet and shower/bathtub, but it was strangely larger than most people would expect. The bathroom was the only room in the house that hadn't come "predecorated", so I'd fagged it up a bit with a glorious striped jewel-tone ( burgandy, navy and forest green were the rage then ) shower curtain with a matching POOFY valance. Truthfully, it was a bit over done and slightly resembled a circus tent because of the shower curtain, but at least, I was allowed to be gay in the bathroom. The toilet was covered with a burgandy seat cover, navy tank cover and forest green rug. You know the type of fabric, it kind of looks like a poodle. When I glanced at it, I thought to myself that the toilet looked warmer than I felt. I've always wondered if people in other countries dressed their toilets up as much as we do. Let's face it, it's a toilet. Do we really need to put clothes on it?
Of course, I had another Forest Green rug in front of the vanity and just outside the shower/bathtub. The beside-the-toilet trash can matched the spit cup and toothbrush holder, too........ALL in jewel tones..and I even had a burgandy, a navy and a forrest green toothbrush.............. No, I didn't really need three toothbrushes, but everything HAD to match, for queer's sake............. I'd even gone so far as to add shelf-paper to the inside of the medicine cabinet in matching colors, and had created my own art-on-canvas using those same jewel tones...very abstract and chic, I thought at the time. ((The good thing about abstract art is that you can drizzle paint on a canvas and somebody somewhere will think you are talented............)) I'm telling you. It was a glorious bathroom. I felt kind of guilty passing gas in there because it was so nice.............but it was a bathroom, after all.
As my body relaxed to the hot water pulsing from the shower head, I erased my mind of any thoughts and simply enjoyed the feeling of warmth that moved gently down my body. I'd bought one of those fancy chrome shower heads with adjustable water-style settings, so I could alter my water experience at my whim. Just as I Paul Mitchelle'd my hair, I thought I felt a sudden change in room temperature, but I couldn't have. It had to be my imagination.....The light that seeped through the suds over my eyes seemed to change a bit, too...nah, couldn't be.........Then, I heard a strong piss stream sound...THAT was not my imagination. I tensed up. Bart -- or someone, and I prayed it was Bart and NOT Mr. Deliverance -- had just barged into the bathroom. I didn't even consider locking the bathroom door since Bart slept like a dead man............Whoever it was, peed for a long time, and then FLUSHED..and suddenly, my comfortable shower turned into scalding torture. I yelped a bit and stepped out of the stream, and then I heard the unmistakable sound of teeth brushing...........I just really couldn't believe how unbelievably rude it was for him to be brushing his teeth with one of my toothbrushes...Granted, I had three, but he didn't know what color I used...( burgandy).
"Bart?" I asked kind of perturbed, but hoped it was his voice I heard over the rushing water of the shower.
"Yarrr?" he seemed to say with the brush in his mouth. Yeah, it was him. I relaxed a tiny bit.
"What color toothbrush are you using?" I asked in my bitch tone.
I heard him spit in the sink..
"Green," he said and then he continued, "Have you brushed your teeth yet?"
"No, not yet, why?" I thought to myself that he asked the strangest questions.
Suddenly, a hand appeared between the wall and the shower curtain holding my burgandy toothbrush and my tube of Colgate. I reached up and grabbed it, just as he said quite bluntly and over-confidently,
"Cuz, I'm not going to kiss you with morning breath."
His presumptiousness pissed me off...........First, he'd barged in and peed while I was in the shower. Then, he flushed and nearly scalded me to death. Next, he'd used one of my toothbrushes without even asking me...............NOT TO MENTION, he'd just barged into the bathroom while I was taking a shower -- but honestly, I knew that the morning pee was the most urgent, so I could understand him having to come in and pee, and I was behind yards and yards of striped jewel toned fabric hidden behind a very poofified tent........BUT, he had the nerve to think that I was going to kiss him???????? (( yeah, I know...........I was kind of worried that he had mind reading capabilities. )) I had to protest this out of principle if for no other reason, and to throw him off my tracks a bit, so I yanked that shower curtain back with a riled look on my face. I was careful to only let my face show............
But, he wasn't there. I stuck my head out a little more. He still wasn't there. Just as I was thinking that he had left the bathroom, I felt lips on the nape of my neck, and a hand on my chest pulling me.........and that's when this Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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