Hmmmm...so he was starting a new strategy in his Jericho March....I could go with this for awhile. Heck, I didn't have much else to do besides lie around until my ankle got better. He'd at least be some company. But, I needed to find out more about him. I only had small pieces of the puzzle of Bart, and I needed a complete picture.....As we ate, I interrogated him (( and I was really glad he'd cut up the steak cuz it was as tough as shoe leather, but I was nice and chewed slowly. Why do small town people always prepare their steaks well-done?))
Yes, he was the child of a Baptist minister, and apparently, he'd been a good preacher's kid contrary to their sketchy reputation. He planned on graduating in May ,and he already had a job waiting for him in his uncle's advertising agency in Dallas. He needed to complete two papers and two projects, and he'd be finished with the current semester. He lived in an on-campus apartment with three other room mates who he hardly knew...Yeah, I know, all that stuff is boring, but the answers I wanted needed a couple more glasses of wine to get the full truth, so I sipped slowly and determined to let him have most of the bottle. (( I didn't want to mix too much wine with the pain pills anyway ,since I didn't really want to wake up to sleep no more. Besides, it wasn't the good stuff anyway. Although he had a Samaritan heart, Arkansas Baptists weren't exactly known for being able to choose a good wine, and he was true to his roots.....and yeah, I know I sound like a bitch, but truth is truth, but I'd never tell him that and hurt his feelings......The gesture is what mattered, and I would have been just as happy with Dr. Pepper or strawberry Kool-Aid. People always assume that I'm some pretentious asshole, but I'm really a hamburger and apple pie guy.............Apparently, Bart had made the same assumption due to my bitchy demeanor)).
A bed is made for many things, but eating dinner and drinking wine ( at the same time ) is not one of them. It was easier for me than it was for him. I could easily set down my wine glass on the Naugahydes and take a bite from my plastic plate. He, on the other hand, had to reach over me to retreive or deposit his wine glass on those lovely chairs.. Every time he did, I tried to not wince and kept my facial expressions even, but it hurt my ankle every time he moved. Finally, we got through the meal, and he took our plates to the kitchen and returned with the bottle of wine which he sat between us on the bed when he, again, joined me there. He tried to refill my glass, but I waved him away, and then he refilled his glass again....Hmmm..I thought to myself...he's only starting his second glass. He'd need at least three before I asked the really important questions.
So, I let him ask the questions. The discovery period during a relationship is probably the most important. Answering those questions is like walking through a mine field. You don't want to lie, but sometimes you can't tell the FULL truth. If you want someone to love you, they need to respect you..........and let's face it, there are some things we have done in our lives that wouldn't excactly garner respect. Btw, this also goes back to my milk theory. If you give the milk away too soon, they won't be able to respect you. Thereby, they will never love you. It is just a very tight rope we walk at that time. Of course, it works in reverse too. If you have decided that you want to get rid of someone because he hasn't scored very well on his discovery quiz, then tell him all the bad stuff and let him milk that cow (( if he's cute enough )), and before you know it, he'll be gone.....................(( Don't ask me how I know all this stuff because you won't respect me if I tell you the answer...)) Life is so much easier when you are married -- even if it isn't legal in your state.
By the time he'd finished quizzing me -- and I know I scored very well because I'd done it a few times -- he'd finished his third glass of wine and was pouring the last glass from the bottle. He rested his head on one pillow and was slightly leaning against the other side of the headboard. Barbra had finished singing by now, and all was just quiet except for our voices.
"So, how many guys have you been with?" I asked point blank. ( I had to make sure that I wasn't going to be just another pair of empty underwear: I had a friend in college who stole the underwear of every guy he'd been with, and he had three dresser drawers full of boxers, briefs and jock straps. He'd been collecting since he'd been in the ninth grade. Whether they'd been laundered or not, I was afraid to ask. He always referred to his exes -- and there were a few -- as a pair of empty underwear. It was a tad bit more original than a "notch on the belt", but it meant the same thing between us.)
"Three," he said just as point blank. ( Okay, he got a point for not being a slut)
"Did you love them?" I felt like the prosecuting attorney, but I needed to know this information.
He hesitated for a minute and looked at the ceiling, and scrunched his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger......then he replied softly, " I loved one." (Another point, at least he wasn't just in it for sex)
"What happened?" I asked.
"He didn't love me, I guess. He got married." he said as he looked down at his wine glass which his legs grasped at crotch level and traced the rim with his forefinger. Then he turned and propped himself up on his left elbow and faced me while he held the wine glass with his right hand and rested it on the mattress. He raised up his right leg and scissored it across his left. He lay on one side of the bed. I faced forward with my back against the headboard and my right ankle elevated on the couch cushions on the other.
"How long were you with him?" I continued with this line of questioning.
"Oh...I guess we started in our senior year of high school, and he got married last year....maybe four years. I was the best man in his wedding. My girlfriend was the maid of honor for his wife.........I haven't seen him since he left for his honey moon" he trailed off. ( Another point for longevity of love but it was subject to deduction because he'd mentioned the Girlfriend!! AH HA! A Girlfriend!! Now do you understand why I waited until the third glass of wine to start the important questions? People always volunteer too much information when they are drunk.)
"Girlfriend?" I asked stone cold.
"Yes, I HAD a girlfriend...She was my fiance'. We had planned on getting married in June after we both graduated. " and then he stopped abruptly, but I could tell there was more to the story.
"Go on," I prodded.
"But, I cut it off," he said shortly.
(Lord, the juicy parts were always like pulling teeth, but he got another point for being single.)
"When?" I asked gently.
"Halloween," he compliantly answered.
(Good Lord, he'd only been broken up with his fiance for about a month. Was he confused and on the rebound? Point deduction.)
"Why?" I know I sounded like a newspaper reporter, but I WAS on a fact-finding mission.
"Because, I'm gay, and I was tired of lying to myself and to her about it." he said kind of frustrated. (And he received 5 points for that response.)
"Did you have sex with her?" I liked to get the juicy stuff, too.
"Not if I could help it," he said rather uncomfortably. ( Another right answer )
"Did you have sex with the guy you loved?" I asked in a very nosey fashion
"As often as I could. I wanted to be as close to him as I could possibly get as often as I could, but it wasn't nearly often enough for me...." he said sadly. ( This boy was scoring very well.)
"What do you want from me?" I sand-bagged him with this question.
"You," he replied softly and reached over and wiped the hair out of my eyes ( again ). I think that was his signature move. ( And, of course, my heart became clarified butter). The candles flickered a bit on this answer too. Must have been a draft......( Another five points for the sheer perfect answer and because it was delivered without hesitation )
"Why?" I asked kind of dumbfounded.
"If I knew, I wouldn't want you. There is just something about you. You are like a combination of him and her," I let him go at that. Who can really explain why he is attracted to someone? ( Well, he told me I was cute and and raved about my eyes and some other physical attributes, but it would be rude for me to tell you all that stuff. I wouldn't want to sound like a conceited jerk...but honey...I'm not ugly.)
"When is the last time you were with a guy?" I asked and I asked this particular question because it was the perfect time to find out what had happened between him and Mother.
"A couple hours before he left on his honeymoon................, " He paused and looked at me. I tried to hide the SCANDALOUS expression that I knew crossed my face; You KNOW that I wanted the juicy details of that escapade. Choir room? Basement? Empty Church Baptistry....You know that all sorts of clandestined venues crossed my mind, BUT I bit my tongue and let him continue. ( But I made a mental note to myself to come back to this at the first proper opportunity.)
"When we finished, he kissed me and told me that we'd never do it again or see each other again..............and he didn't lie," he said sadly with regret. ( You know what a person sounds like who still mourns a lost beloved...and that was in his voice. )
If my ankle hadn't hurt so bad, I would have reached over and hugged him because he really looked like he needed it right about then. I could tell that he still had feelings for his "friend", and that the hurt still hurt..............and I had worn those shoes before. I knew exactly how he felt. No one can replace a lost love because we love each person differently. That hole they made in our heart always remains, but sometimes we can find someone to fill those holes.....but the holes are still there....they've just got a filling.
"What happened between you and Mother that night?" I asked. I HAD to know besides, he was having a weak moment, and it would be more difficult for him to lie right then, and I was giving him a reprieve from talking about something that obviously pained him.
He looked up at me and kind of squinted. Then he raised his head up and got very very close to my face and looked squarely in my eyes. I assumed this was to emphasize that he was telling the truth, but it was a rather drunk move too....and he looked kind of silly...still beautiful, but silly.
"Do you really think that I'd sleep with him one night and then be over here the next?" he asked sincerely and emphatically and then leaned back against the headboard.
"Don't answer my question with a question. Just answer me." I said firmly and quietly, but I held my ground. ( And if I had answered his question, I would have pissed him off. I was very well-versed in the nature of Man, and hell yeah, he would have been. The refractory period of the normal penis is only about 15 minutes, and then it is raring to go again, so a whole day would have transpired....oh hell yeah, he would have been....)
He scooted over right next me, and we sat shoulder to shoulder propped up against the headboard. He took the final swig of his wine and handed his glass to me. I placed it on the Naughahyde chairs that we'd been using as a make-shift table.
"This is what happened," he started with his explanation but he was using his hands more than Mother did to explain her stories. His facial expressions and body language became very gay when he drank, and that comforted me. It gave me hope that he wasn't just confused. ( So he got another point on his quiz for facial expression and body language.)
"After you and that other guy left, Mother, or whatever his name is, and I talked for a little while. I wanted to find out as much about you as I could, but she didn't know that much. She told me where you worked, and that is why I showed up there the next day. I was only at her place for thirty minutes or less, and then I drove back to Arkadelphia, got up the next day and went to class, and then I came to find you. Are you happy now?" he said as he took my hand. ( Okay, I gave him half a point. He stressed "me" too much and made it all about "me", and I'd been fooled by flattery before............Just so you know, he passed his quiz))
Then, out of nowhere he asked with a half smile on his face as he again faced me and got really really close to my face which I chalked up to another drunk move. (( Our lips almost touched, and I could tell by the way he separated his, as I looked down my nose at them, what he had in mind.))
"Have you brushed your teeth?"
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