SPLAT
The noise came from my left and both the red neck and I looked over to see Mother scraping a broken egg off the left lens of her sunglasses. ( And, I knew then the Lord had made his message complete. If I ever saw eggs in or near a gay bar again, I'd high-tail it out of there....Why did I always overlook these omens? I asked myself) If I hadn't been just a little bit afraid because of the situation before us, I would have thought it was Karma for what she had done to Bart. For a second, Mother Superior just stood there -- wigless -- wiping the egg remnants from her glasses and dress, but she wasn't JUST wigless. Unbeknownst to me, many drag queens wore a cap fashioned from knee-high panty hose to hold their boy hair when they wore a wig and Mothers' was transversed with white medical tape to just above her brows, so she looked a little like a wounded soldier who lacked proper bandages and had to resort to hose on her head and sunglasses. A Muffled Jennifer Holliday
"You're the Best Man I'll ever Know"
made its way to us from inside the bar and some light leaked over to us from the other side of the parking lot...Then silence and darkness again. For some reason, SiAra had found the switch, but flipped it back off.
SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT
and Mother, Kerry and I were assaulted with a barrage of eggs streaming from the pocket of some crazed boy's leather jacket. One after another, he pelted us..and then stopped to reload his hands.
SPLAT
But this time, Mother caught it in her hand, and rushed to the source of the eggs. Of course, the force had caused it to break in her hand, but she ran lickety-split to the other red-neck, who was a little taller, but as skinny as a scarecrow during a famine and the source of the eggs. These red-necks were not corn-fed boys; they were hillbillies who were missing their cob pipe and straw hats. ( Imagine Huck Finn with less class )...........and Mother grabbed that boy by the hair of his head and rubbed that egg all over his face. The scarecrow let out a scream that any five year old girl would have been proud of and had the gall to call Mother a faggot...........and that's when all hell broke loose. And light again and muffled
"There is no way I can ever go...no, no, no no way
no, no, no, no way I'm living without you"
Then darkness ( again) and only the sound of skirmish and "Faggot..Faggot...You're going to Hell" from a boy who was losing handfuls of hair by the second.
"Repent, Sodomite!!!" he yelled as Mother spun him around and around like he was on a merry-go-round.
and light, and dark and light and dark. It was a little strobeish. I think it scared my midget a little bit, cuz he backed away from me and watched Mother beat the hay out of that skinny scarecrow for a minute or two..( she even threw in some Karate chops and kicks -- and I don't know where that came from, but she was a deadly spinning pinwheel in sequins and high drag -- absent the wig, of course -- pretending to be oriental and doing a damn good job of it. She even uttered some guttural "Hay Yahs! for emphasis) For just a second or two Mother whirled like a ballerina in a jewelry box and kicked that mouthy redneck in the gut, and he went down. With rage in his eyes, my midget looked at me and reached into his jean pocket but from somewhere behind me, a heavenly punch appeared and smashed him in the face, and he fell unconscious to the asphalt. ( and all of a sudden, Kerry started looking pretty good to me because he was the one who'd delivered the final blow...) I was relieved because I really didn't want to heel my midget.
The noise came from my left and both the red neck and I looked over to see Mother scraping a broken egg off the left lens of her sunglasses. ( And, I knew then the Lord had made his message complete. If I ever saw eggs in or near a gay bar again, I'd high-tail it out of there....Why did I always overlook these omens? I asked myself) If I hadn't been just a little bit afraid because of the situation before us, I would have thought it was Karma for what she had done to Bart. For a second, Mother Superior just stood there -- wigless -- wiping the egg remnants from her glasses and dress, but she wasn't JUST wigless. Unbeknownst to me, many drag queens wore a cap fashioned from knee-high panty hose to hold their boy hair when they wore a wig and Mothers' was transversed with white medical tape to just above her brows, so she looked a little like a wounded soldier who lacked proper bandages and had to resort to hose on her head and sunglasses. A Muffled Jennifer Holliday
"You're the Best Man I'll ever Know"
made its way to us from inside the bar and some light leaked over to us from the other side of the parking lot...Then silence and darkness again. For some reason, SiAra had found the switch, but flipped it back off.
SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT
and Mother, Kerry and I were assaulted with a barrage of eggs streaming from the pocket of some crazed boy's leather jacket. One after another, he pelted us..and then stopped to reload his hands.
SPLAT
But this time, Mother caught it in her hand, and rushed to the source of the eggs. Of course, the force had caused it to break in her hand, but she ran lickety-split to the other red-neck, who was a little taller, but as skinny as a scarecrow during a famine and the source of the eggs. These red-necks were not corn-fed boys; they were hillbillies who were missing their cob pipe and straw hats. ( Imagine Huck Finn with less class )...........and Mother grabbed that boy by the hair of his head and rubbed that egg all over his face. The scarecrow let out a scream that any five year old girl would have been proud of and had the gall to call Mother a faggot...........and that's when all hell broke loose. And light again and muffled
"There is no way I can ever go...no, no, no no way
no, no, no, no way I'm living without you"
Then darkness ( again) and only the sound of skirmish and "Faggot..Faggot...You're going to Hell" from a boy who was losing handfuls of hair by the second.
"Repent, Sodomite!!!" he yelled as Mother spun him around and around like he was on a merry-go-round.
and light, and dark and light and dark. It was a little strobeish. I think it scared my midget a little bit, cuz he backed away from me and watched Mother beat the hay out of that skinny scarecrow for a minute or two..( she even threw in some Karate chops and kicks -- and I don't know where that came from, but she was a deadly spinning pinwheel in sequins and high drag -- absent the wig, of course -- pretending to be oriental and doing a damn good job of it. She even uttered some guttural "Hay Yahs! for emphasis) For just a second or two Mother whirled like a ballerina in a jewelry box and kicked that mouthy redneck in the gut, and he went down. With rage in his eyes, my midget looked at me and reached into his jean pocket but from somewhere behind me, a heavenly punch appeared and smashed him in the face, and he fell unconscious to the asphalt. ( and all of a sudden, Kerry started looking pretty good to me because he was the one who'd delivered the final blow...) I was relieved because I really didn't want to heel my midget.
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