"The crock pot is closed tonight. No more beanie-weenies," Kit suddenly yelled from my back left behind her bar. Mother and I both turned around to see Kit handing a styrofoam bowl with a plastic spoon standing up in the middle of the bowl over her open condiment tray to a famished queen in his 50s who appeared to be more than delighted that he'd received the final bowl of this frankfurter and fart-manufacturer concoction..........and it was fairly early in the evening. I was forced to confront the fact that Kit, the lesbian bartender who gloried in her catty references, had sold several bowls of beans........and it was going to be a bumpy night...This was just another omen -- like the bong-show door bell -- that I should have heeded. "No more beanie-weenies" would serve as my cosmic warning for the night, and I should have turned around and gone back home and hid in my closet right then..............but I didn't. Later, I wondered if this act of defiance against the Lord's obvious warning would classify as a "tempting the Lord" sin. However it was classified, the Lord needed to use bigger signs with me apparently, but I'd eventually learn to listen to the slightest subtleties eventually -- but not on that night.......but there was an aching in my spirit, that told me that things just weren't right in this realm. The beanie-weanies was just my first clue........there would be others.
"Beans in a gay bar?" I nudged Mother and asked her quizzically.
"Gurl, don't look at me. It's a new one on me,too. I guess she figures if Paul can make a little on the side with his footlongs, that she can make a little extra cash with her beanie-weenies.................but those things would tear up my stomach," Mother said........and then the reality of the beans struck her -- just as it had struck me when I had nudged her-- , and she realized the full impact the beans would have on the drunken, gay crowd. Mother Superior looked at me and I raised my eyebrows, and we both doubled over in laughter simultaneously.
"Gurl, these drunk queens are going to be farting all during the show....................and if they take a trick home tonight, he's gonna' get a surprise........I don't guess lesbians think about those things," We both guffawed, and our entire group joined us as we all got up and migrated to the back bar where we were confronted with darkness and disco..........and One Armed Vickie whose appearance was the same as before ( and as always, I'd learn): bra-less in a V-neck Hanes but I did take note that she never wore an ace bandage evidenced by the pendulous pair under her T-shirt that was so worn that it appeared to have been fashioned from cheese cloth...Hmmm, I contemplated, I wondered if she was an example of lesbian fem in Hot Springs.
The whole lesbian thing always perplexed me ((and many lesbians rode the fence which only added to my confusion )), and I didn't always know who was butch or fem. I wondered if lesbians just knew instinctually what was what and who was who and who was what, like a cat knew when her kittens were hungry, or if they discovered it as they unwrapped the package...or if some alternated roles like many gay men did...It was just all very confusing, and it was another something I added to my "Why I never want to be a lesbian" list........
Of course, like you, I have always wondered and still do just what the butches did in the bedroom and what the fems did too....Was the butch always the licker, and if so, what did they get of out it besides bad breath and chapped lips? Or did they switch it up? Did the mascuiline one carry her dildo with her at all times just in case they felt a rapid urge of romance/horniness on a secluded mountain trail....and if so, where did she hide it? It's not like Butches could hide their "dicks" -- as they referred to them -- in their purses, cuz Butches don't carry a purse.....The whole lesbian thing held a certian allure to me, but I was afraid to ask any of them about the details They get kind of testy sometimes...But, I did have a good fem friend once, and she told me her Butch's dick was purple -- AND it glowed in the dark, and they liked to have anal sex..............HUH? No, I didn't ask. I just played along like I knew what she was talking about..and tried not to laugh at the picture in my mind of her shapely lover with tits and a big glow in the dark purple strap-on affixed to her crotch illuminating all manner of her girlfriend's darkness -- front and back....Hell, Angela even told me that she sucked her lover's "dick" sometimes...............HUH? I just couldn't understand THAT at all...It's not like anyone was feeling anything through this penis prosthesis, and it seemed like a total waste of time and energy to me...Like I said, this lesbian thing made me curious......but not curious enough to watch a lezzie porn...ugh.....I highly doubted they made porns called "Back Door Muffy" anyway..and most gay girls that I knew scoffed at the portrayal of sapphist love on video and swore it was only made to fulfill the perverted fantasies of heterosexual men. They complained about the long fingernails of the chicks in the movie and swore that could never happen in real life because nails could cut the kitty.....( They also told me that if they were ever out and about and spotted a supposed closet case dyke, they always checked the fingernail on her "fuck finger" -- as they referred to it -- laymen would refer to it as her middle finger. If that fingernail was long, they supposed her to just be another straight woman with short hair and no make-up, but if that nail was clipped short, they knew she was "family" ............No, I didn't ask questions about "fuck fingers" or "family"; I just took their word for it. I figured they were the pussy experts. And, to be quite honest, all that pussy talk always made my stomach a bit queasy.)
Mother led our gorgeous ( except for Boma Jean...oh, she was there..I just can't include her in the gorgeous category) group, and we paused in front of Vickie's table for a second.
"Gurl, we're not paying tonight. It's a talent night, and they're always free. Do you have my table set up?" Mother barked at Vickie in a regal tone.
"Mother. Your table is where it always is, and I'm just giving out tickets for the drawing, so take your ticket and shut the fuck up. I don't want your money tonight," One Armed Vickie returned Mother's tone, but added a little lezzie gruffness to it in good humor as she passed out tickets to all of us. Kerry followed close behind me...a bit too close...and it suddenly struck me then that this boy might as well have been mute, because he'd hardly said anything the whole night........... Oh well, I shrugged it off, he was for one purpose only. At least, I didn't have to listen to mindless chatter from him. Willadean, Mellodean and Boma Jean followed him in that order, and they pointed and giggled at all the sights in the back bar........and you know there was plenty to see.
"Beans in a gay bar?" I nudged Mother and asked her quizzically.
"Gurl, don't look at me. It's a new one on me,too. I guess she figures if Paul can make a little on the side with his footlongs, that she can make a little extra cash with her beanie-weenies.................but those things would tear up my stomach," Mother said........and then the reality of the beans struck her -- just as it had struck me when I had nudged her-- , and she realized the full impact the beans would have on the drunken, gay crowd. Mother Superior looked at me and I raised my eyebrows, and we both doubled over in laughter simultaneously.
"Gurl, these drunk queens are going to be farting all during the show....................and if they take a trick home tonight, he's gonna' get a surprise........I don't guess lesbians think about those things," We both guffawed, and our entire group joined us as we all got up and migrated to the back bar where we were confronted with darkness and disco..........and One Armed Vickie whose appearance was the same as before ( and as always, I'd learn): bra-less in a V-neck Hanes but I did take note that she never wore an ace bandage evidenced by the pendulous pair under her T-shirt that was so worn that it appeared to have been fashioned from cheese cloth...Hmmm, I contemplated, I wondered if she was an example of lesbian fem in Hot Springs.
The whole lesbian thing always perplexed me ((and many lesbians rode the fence which only added to my confusion )), and I didn't always know who was butch or fem. I wondered if lesbians just knew instinctually what was what and who was who and who was what, like a cat knew when her kittens were hungry, or if they discovered it as they unwrapped the package...or if some alternated roles like many gay men did...It was just all very confusing, and it was another something I added to my "Why I never want to be a lesbian" list........
Of course, like you, I have always wondered and still do just what the butches did in the bedroom and what the fems did too....Was the butch always the licker, and if so, what did they get of out it besides bad breath and chapped lips? Or did they switch it up? Did the mascuiline one carry her dildo with her at all times just in case they felt a rapid urge of romance/horniness on a secluded mountain trail....and if so, where did she hide it? It's not like Butches could hide their "dicks" -- as they referred to them -- in their purses, cuz Butches don't carry a purse.....The whole lesbian thing held a certian allure to me, but I was afraid to ask any of them about the details They get kind of testy sometimes...But, I did have a good fem friend once, and she told me her Butch's dick was purple -- AND it glowed in the dark, and they liked to have anal sex..............HUH? No, I didn't ask. I just played along like I knew what she was talking about..and tried not to laugh at the picture in my mind of her shapely lover with tits and a big glow in the dark purple strap-on affixed to her crotch illuminating all manner of her girlfriend's darkness -- front and back....Hell, Angela even told me that she sucked her lover's "dick" sometimes...............HUH? I just couldn't understand THAT at all...It's not like anyone was feeling anything through this penis prosthesis, and it seemed like a total waste of time and energy to me...Like I said, this lesbian thing made me curious......but not curious enough to watch a lezzie porn...ugh.....I highly doubted they made porns called "Back Door Muffy" anyway..and most gay girls that I knew scoffed at the portrayal of sapphist love on video and swore it was only made to fulfill the perverted fantasies of heterosexual men. They complained about the long fingernails of the chicks in the movie and swore that could never happen in real life because nails could cut the kitty.....( They also told me that if they were ever out and about and spotted a supposed closet case dyke, they always checked the fingernail on her "fuck finger" -- as they referred to it -- laymen would refer to it as her middle finger. If that fingernail was long, they supposed her to just be another straight woman with short hair and no make-up, but if that nail was clipped short, they knew she was "family" ............No, I didn't ask questions about "fuck fingers" or "family"; I just took their word for it. I figured they were the pussy experts. And, to be quite honest, all that pussy talk always made my stomach a bit queasy.)
Mother led our gorgeous ( except for Boma Jean...oh, she was there..I just can't include her in the gorgeous category) group, and we paused in front of Vickie's table for a second.
"Gurl, we're not paying tonight. It's a talent night, and they're always free. Do you have my table set up?" Mother barked at Vickie in a regal tone.
"Mother. Your table is where it always is, and I'm just giving out tickets for the drawing, so take your ticket and shut the fuck up. I don't want your money tonight," One Armed Vickie returned Mother's tone, but added a little lezzie gruffness to it in good humor as she passed out tickets to all of us. Kerry followed close behind me...a bit too close...and it suddenly struck me then that this boy might as well have been mute, because he'd hardly said anything the whole night........... Oh well, I shrugged it off, he was for one purpose only. At least, I didn't have to listen to mindless chatter from him. Willadean, Mellodean and Boma Jean followed him in that order, and they pointed and giggled at all the sights in the back bar........and you know there was plenty to see.
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