Like the girls, my focus was on the dance floor as we walked through the darkness to the very front table which I'd learn was always Mother's table on talent nights. The dance floor/ drag stage was crowded with queens, cute boys in wrangler jeans, ball-capped lesbians and all sorts of gyrating, twisting and turning homosexuals that peopled this small tourist town. Feather boas flounced through the crowd, and cowboy hats bobbed up and down as the mirror ball turned above it all. It was truly a grand spectacle, and I was so en-tranced with it that mother's "shit" almost escaped my ears. She was simply full of "shits" on this night. She stopped suddenly and turned around to all of us as if to halt us about something of dire need. I nearly ran into her since my focus had been on the dance floor and not on our destination.
"That crazy straight lady, Hester, is at MY table," Mother said with open irritation. I altered my focus off of the dance floor and focused on the front table where I saw the back of a silver motorcycle helmet. The strobes and mirror ball were going simply mad with it, and enough light ricocheted off the glittered helmet to cause some shock to our eyes in the darkness when we looked at it.
"Tell her to move, " I said simply.
"You don't understand................she's crazy, " Mother said, and that excuse didn't mean much to me at all. Hell, everyone in this town that I'd met had some bit of crazy to them -- especially Mother -- so Mother would have to be a little more vivid in her description of Hester to scare me away, and I didn't really need anyone to tell me the lady was crazy, her motorcyle helmet -- which she wore as her chief fashion accessory -- pretty much announced that by simply being there..........
"Come on," I insisted, and I switched places with Mother and led the group to the table.
Someone had placed together three of those fairy-lit , red-clothed, round tables for us and put a "RESERVED" table tent in the center of it all. I couldn't help but notice three empty styrofoam bowls with remnants of beanie-weanies, two empty martini glasses and six empty Bud-light bottles in front of Hester on the center table. Surely, this little, skinny woman had not consumed all of this by herself, I told myself. I tapped Hester on the shoulder, and she turned around and looked up at me. One hand held a glad-bag of boiled eggs and the other hand clutched a half consumed egg............yeah, you heard it right. I had before me the makings of a fart fiesta: three empty bowls of beanie-weenies, the beer bottles and a bag of boiled eggs.............AND, I simply ignored the omen..the approaching boom........AGAIN.
"Yeah?" Hester asked with a drunk toughness in her voice. Strawberry blonde strands escaped the bounds of the glittered silver helmet and cascaded down the sides of her face..............BUT her eyeshadow was fabulous....and her eyes had a glint of life that pulled me in........... I liked her with one glance, and I decided she could join us -- just like that. Mother could just deal with it.
"I just thought I'd introduce myself since we're going to be joining you at our RESERVED table," and, of course, I stressed "RESERVED" -- which she didn't notice or ignored -- and I reached out my hand to her to shake her hand. She stuffed the rest of the boiled egg she'd held in her right hand into her mouth, and I told her my name and she gave me a closed, but crowded, mouth smile as she chewed her egg -- that looked a bit more like her cud than an egg since she'd crammed so much into her mouth -- and she reached out and gave me a very firm hand-shake........... The solitaire three-carat diamond on her ring finger caught the strobe for a second forcing me to realize that this woman was eccentric, but she wasn't trashy. I turned around to the rest of the group and motioned for them to take their seats. There were plenty of chairs for everyone, and we even had a couple left over.
"Save a seat for Cora," Mother said as she gave me a glare that told me with no words that she was thinking "you don't know what you've gotten us into, girl"........and I read her eyes, but I figured that I could deal with anything.................
"That crazy straight lady, Hester, is at MY table," Mother said with open irritation. I altered my focus off of the dance floor and focused on the front table where I saw the back of a silver motorcycle helmet. The strobes and mirror ball were going simply mad with it, and enough light ricocheted off the glittered helmet to cause some shock to our eyes in the darkness when we looked at it.
"Tell her to move, " I said simply.
"You don't understand................she's crazy, " Mother said, and that excuse didn't mean much to me at all. Hell, everyone in this town that I'd met had some bit of crazy to them -- especially Mother -- so Mother would have to be a little more vivid in her description of Hester to scare me away, and I didn't really need anyone to tell me the lady was crazy, her motorcyle helmet -- which she wore as her chief fashion accessory -- pretty much announced that by simply being there..........
"Come on," I insisted, and I switched places with Mother and led the group to the table.
Someone had placed together three of those fairy-lit , red-clothed, round tables for us and put a "RESERVED" table tent in the center of it all. I couldn't help but notice three empty styrofoam bowls with remnants of beanie-weanies, two empty martini glasses and six empty Bud-light bottles in front of Hester on the center table. Surely, this little, skinny woman had not consumed all of this by herself, I told myself. I tapped Hester on the shoulder, and she turned around and looked up at me. One hand held a glad-bag of boiled eggs and the other hand clutched a half consumed egg............yeah, you heard it right. I had before me the makings of a fart fiesta: three empty bowls of beanie-weenies, the beer bottles and a bag of boiled eggs.............AND, I simply ignored the omen..the approaching boom........AGAIN.
"Yeah?" Hester asked with a drunk toughness in her voice. Strawberry blonde strands escaped the bounds of the glittered silver helmet and cascaded down the sides of her face..............BUT her eyeshadow was fabulous....and her eyes had a glint of life that pulled me in........... I liked her with one glance, and I decided she could join us -- just like that. Mother could just deal with it.
"I just thought I'd introduce myself since we're going to be joining you at our RESERVED table," and, of course, I stressed "RESERVED" -- which she didn't notice or ignored -- and I reached out my hand to her to shake her hand. She stuffed the rest of the boiled egg she'd held in her right hand into her mouth, and I told her my name and she gave me a closed, but crowded, mouth smile as she chewed her egg -- that looked a bit more like her cud than an egg since she'd crammed so much into her mouth -- and she reached out and gave me a very firm hand-shake........... The solitaire three-carat diamond on her ring finger caught the strobe for a second forcing me to realize that this woman was eccentric, but she wasn't trashy. I turned around to the rest of the group and motioned for them to take their seats. There were plenty of chairs for everyone, and we even had a couple left over.
"Save a seat for Cora," Mother said as she gave me a glare that told me with no words that she was thinking "you don't know what you've gotten us into, girl"........and I read her eyes, but I figured that I could deal with anything.................
Since I was given the title of Honorary Drag Queen oh those so many years ago, I really do feel like I can do anything! And I truly have dealt with almost anything. i am still waiting to be Surprised.
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