One of the good qualities that Mother Superior possessed -- and she had many -- was her forthright honesty. It was a rarity in the South, but she was like me in that regard. Truth was truth no matter how you painted it, and you might as well just say it like it was...............and she didn't lie about Mitzi's performance. It did get worse. I think the worst part of it was that it was boring and lacked creativity.
Mitzi was a less-than-glamorous drag queen wannabe who was dressed in loose gypsy garb trying to sell a song that lacked a climax. Stevie Nicks could sell it because of her gravelly voice and speculation about withcraft, but Mitzi couldn't. Some people had it, and some did not, but I'd eventually learn that there was a HUGE difference in entertainment value between drag queens and transexuals. Every now and then the two united and a transy was a good drag queen, but more often than not, transies just weren't performers. Something other than their outward appearance lurked on their insides and yearned to be set free, but it wasn't talent. Unfortunately, Mitzi had that bug...and the booty flu, too. I thought she should just go get the surgery and bake bread for a pot-bellied husband ( and pretend to be barefoot and pregnant ) and forget about the art of drag queenery. Judging from her performance, she was a definite transy, and NOT a drag queen.............and I'd judged Mother too harshly on her criticism of Mitzi. She'd been right all along, and the very thing that I admired about Mother -- her honesty -- had offended me the most when she'd told Mitzi the truth about her performance ability. I was a fickle bitch, but who isn't? In the future, I'd realize that I was new to this ballgame, and I should sit back and watch a little more before I passed judgment. Perhaps Mother knew more than I did -- but I hated to admit that -- even to myself.
Of course, I tipped Mitzi. We all did. She even had a line of fans on one side of the aisle waiting to offer her monetary accolades, but no one cheered...and the tips were pity tips. From the look in her eyes, I could see that she knew that, but she trudged onward...........and most of the audience was polite and just waited for it to end...and then there was an interruption in her tape and new music started.
"Oh God," Mother said outloud ( with Mitzi no more than 3 feet away from us ). "She's made a mix. How long will this shit last?"
"Just a couple more minutes, bitch," Mitzi said to Mother before the words started to her song, and I kicked Mother under the table.
"Well, do something besides just stand there. This shit is boring," Mother sneered at Mitzi. I elbowed her hard on that one and immediately thrust a dollar bill into the air to try to make up for Mother's overflowing honesty.
Mitzi snatched it out of my hand and said to Mother, "Fuck you, you old hag. All you do is SPIN all over the stage when you do a number. You don't even know the words."
"Uh!" is all Mother uttered, and I had to hold her arm down to prevent her from getting up and making a total jackass of herself. She'd done enough of that on this talent night, and Mitzi deserved simple stage respect if nothing else. Thankfully, Another Stevie song started and Mitzi backed off and moved her arms up and down to the driving notes of her new song. Her shawl had fallen off of her wig, and it made good impromptu wings. Mother crossed her arms, tapped her foot, and her ears got ketchup red, but she shut her mouth. Mitzi thrust her hands into the deep pockets of her prarie skirt and threw hand fulls of gold glitter into the air -- and the fans - just as her lyrics started, but something went wrong within seconds of her thrusts.
"Rock on - gold dust woman
Take your silver spoon
and dig your grave"
Mitzi started making strange eye contortions, and tears streamed down her face. At first, I thought that Mother's harsh words had hurt her feelings, and she was crying on stage, but that wasn't the problem at all. All of that gold glitter that she'd thrown up into the air -- and which had looked simply spectacular in the green spot-light ( and had received the only cheer from the audience that she'd get on this night ) had blown right back into her face and eyes. She warbled around for a few more beats to the song, and then her heels got entangled in her prarie skirt, and she went down..down..down into the rumbling fog. If that wasn't bad enough, the spot light operator honed in on her as she tried to crawl away, and all the audience could see was her panty-hose covered butt as she crawled away to the dressing room and out of her humiliation. It was an interesting sight because her arms were concealed by the rolling clouds, and all we could see was her ass -- in hane's sheer-to-the-waist fawn beige. I guess the skirt must have come up and she just shined her moon at us. (( I, secretly, thought to myself that it was intentionally aimed at Mother, but I'd never be able to verify that for sure because Mitzi refused to ever discuss that night again, and she hung up her tiara forever after that.))
Initially, the audience didn't know what to do. Everyone at our table exchanged glances, and there was a beat of silence then all at once, as if the entire room had an invisible conductor, the place erupted into a cacophony of laughter..and Mother laughed loudest of all.
Mitzi was a less-than-glamorous drag queen wannabe who was dressed in loose gypsy garb trying to sell a song that lacked a climax. Stevie Nicks could sell it because of her gravelly voice and speculation about withcraft, but Mitzi couldn't. Some people had it, and some did not, but I'd eventually learn that there was a HUGE difference in entertainment value between drag queens and transexuals. Every now and then the two united and a transy was a good drag queen, but more often than not, transies just weren't performers. Something other than their outward appearance lurked on their insides and yearned to be set free, but it wasn't talent. Unfortunately, Mitzi had that bug...and the booty flu, too. I thought she should just go get the surgery and bake bread for a pot-bellied husband ( and pretend to be barefoot and pregnant ) and forget about the art of drag queenery. Judging from her performance, she was a definite transy, and NOT a drag queen.............and I'd judged Mother too harshly on her criticism of Mitzi. She'd been right all along, and the very thing that I admired about Mother -- her honesty -- had offended me the most when she'd told Mitzi the truth about her performance ability. I was a fickle bitch, but who isn't? In the future, I'd realize that I was new to this ballgame, and I should sit back and watch a little more before I passed judgment. Perhaps Mother knew more than I did -- but I hated to admit that -- even to myself.
Of course, I tipped Mitzi. We all did. She even had a line of fans on one side of the aisle waiting to offer her monetary accolades, but no one cheered...and the tips were pity tips. From the look in her eyes, I could see that she knew that, but she trudged onward...........and most of the audience was polite and just waited for it to end...and then there was an interruption in her tape and new music started.
"Oh God," Mother said outloud ( with Mitzi no more than 3 feet away from us ). "She's made a mix. How long will this shit last?"
"Just a couple more minutes, bitch," Mitzi said to Mother before the words started to her song, and I kicked Mother under the table.
"Well, do something besides just stand there. This shit is boring," Mother sneered at Mitzi. I elbowed her hard on that one and immediately thrust a dollar bill into the air to try to make up for Mother's overflowing honesty.
Mitzi snatched it out of my hand and said to Mother, "Fuck you, you old hag. All you do is SPIN all over the stage when you do a number. You don't even know the words."
"Uh!" is all Mother uttered, and I had to hold her arm down to prevent her from getting up and making a total jackass of herself. She'd done enough of that on this talent night, and Mitzi deserved simple stage respect if nothing else. Thankfully, Another Stevie song started and Mitzi backed off and moved her arms up and down to the driving notes of her new song. Her shawl had fallen off of her wig, and it made good impromptu wings. Mother crossed her arms, tapped her foot, and her ears got ketchup red, but she shut her mouth. Mitzi thrust her hands into the deep pockets of her prarie skirt and threw hand fulls of gold glitter into the air -- and the fans - just as her lyrics started, but something went wrong within seconds of her thrusts.
"Rock on - gold dust woman
Take your silver spoon
and dig your grave"
Mitzi started making strange eye contortions, and tears streamed down her face. At first, I thought that Mother's harsh words had hurt her feelings, and she was crying on stage, but that wasn't the problem at all. All of that gold glitter that she'd thrown up into the air -- and which had looked simply spectacular in the green spot-light ( and had received the only cheer from the audience that she'd get on this night ) had blown right back into her face and eyes. She warbled around for a few more beats to the song, and then her heels got entangled in her prarie skirt, and she went down..down..down into the rumbling fog. If that wasn't bad enough, the spot light operator honed in on her as she tried to crawl away, and all the audience could see was her panty-hose covered butt as she crawled away to the dressing room and out of her humiliation. It was an interesting sight because her arms were concealed by the rolling clouds, and all we could see was her ass -- in hane's sheer-to-the-waist fawn beige. I guess the skirt must have come up and she just shined her moon at us. (( I, secretly, thought to myself that it was intentionally aimed at Mother, but I'd never be able to verify that for sure because Mitzi refused to ever discuss that night again, and she hung up her tiara forever after that.))
Initially, the audience didn't know what to do. Everyone at our table exchanged glances, and there was a beat of silence then all at once, as if the entire room had an invisible conductor, the place erupted into a cacophony of laughter..and Mother laughed loudest of all.
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